DT Exclusive: Gerrard's V-sign

Steven Gerrard risked FA punishment and the indignation of news media without a sex scandal in the last 24 hours on Monday when he mouthed an obscenity and made a V-sign toward referee Andre Marriner after getting booked late in Liverpool's 1-0 loss to Wigan. The following is a transcript of how Gerrard escaped further castigation for his petulant action. 

Marriner: That was reckless challenge, Steven. Yellow card. That's -- hey hey, did you just flip me a V-sign?

Gerrard: No.

Marriner: Yes you did, I just saw it.

Gerrard: No. I was telling you how many turtles I have. Two. I have two turtles.

Marriner: No, that was definitely a V-sign. You can't make obscene gestures at a referee like that, Steven.

Gerrard: I wasn't! Honest! It was a peace sign I learned from Lindsay Lohan.

Marriner: Lindsay Lohan?

Gerrard: Yeah. I was at a party and Lindsay Lohan was there and she was all like, "Oh, Steven Gerrard, you're such a good footballer and I love you even though I'm American and I think football is played with helmets and a pointy egg ball. And oh, by the way, peace." And then she did the peace sign that I just did to you because I want you to have peace, too. 

Marriner: I'm not buying it.

Gerrard: But I'm being honest! It was just a Lindsay Lohan peace sign and the number of turtles I own. 

Marriner: No. That was an obscene gesture. You'll get in trouble for that.

Gerrard: Aw, come on. Please don't tell the FA. I'm the England captain now. Last time I talked to them they were all like, "Oh, Steven Gerrard, we're going to make you captain of England because you're a great guy and you have cool hair and you could probably even do magic tricks if you wanted to, but you have to promise not to do anything bad." And I was all like, "Yeah, of course, I promise. Now give me a cupcake." And they were all like, "..." and I was all like "..." 

Marriner: A cupcake? What?

Gerrard: Just please don't get me in trouble for my turtle peace sign. Come on, we'll listen to some Phil Collins and everything will be OK.

Marriner: What? No. Just -- whatever, we're moving on. 

Gerrard: Yes!